Finding a gay therapist on psychology today websir

They feel more comfortable avoiding any mention of this past, which in turn leads to shame. If you still have concerns, then you might refer him to a trauma expert and share the case. Gay men experience varying degrees of trauma merely by growing up in a world where being heterosexual is normative.

How many are you ready to try? In my own work with many gay men, I encourage my client to pay attention to and rely on these sensations, and begin to trust that within himself is an awareness and resourcefulness that can help him focus on strength and wellbeing. Despite the fact that many gay men do feel safer working with a gay therapist, or enjoy the fact that there are no explanations needed regarding the gay subculture, there are actually advantages to working with a straight therapist.

Growing up in a world where acceptance has been challenging and editing has been a norm, love and acceptance from a heterosexual is healing. Explore how the younger version of himself differs from the current version, and explore what still gets carried out, either externally or internally.

Your client has most likely done this by distancing himself from his physical feelings and using disassociation. As I spend more time teaching mental health professionals about working with gay men, I continue to be appreciative of the vulnerabilities and questions that heterosexuals have for me.

Fortunately, psychology is keeping up, uncovering new ways to maintain mental and physical health, and positivity and confidence, through manageable daily habits like these. And if they are part of a religious or ethnic community that rejects homosexuality , the results can be doubly devastating.

He may have previously viewed his body as betraying him based on being perceived as more effeminate than other boys or having struggles with sports, so the notion of using his body to help him along may initially bring up fears of failure or of being retraumatized.

LGBTQ-affirmative therapists can help clients who are questioning their sexuality or gender identity explore those questions, as well as help those who identify as LGBTQ+ navigate the bias. The best way most gay men have learned to deal with both mild and significant traumas occurring as they grew up is to push memory of the trauma aside—due to humiliation—and keep moving forward with hopes of getting to a more peaceful way to live day-to-day life.

They often then take that shame and seek to bury it, even to the point of not consciously remembering or wanting to remember what really happened to them. If you identify as LGBTQ+ and are seeking a. Find out how race, geography, gender, and income influence health outcomes, as well as how to take charge of your health if it's at risk.

The most important consideration when seeing a gay man in therapy? Your goal is to normalize these experiences in order to free him from playing out these hidden aspects of his self, to bring out his true self and be authentic as well as more loved by himself and others.

Ask about his coming out, his experiences of being bullied, who he told about experiences he interprets as shameful, and how he used these experiences to define himself. Life never gets easier. Many if not most gay men will downplay the importance and influence of these early experiences in their adult lives, and therapists need to be able to tease out the themes of shame and trauma, even when those themes are not the presenting problem when the client began therapy.

The most popular question is whether it is okay for a heterosexual therapist to work with a gay man. To be loved and accepted by you may be more significant than you realize. Before jumping in quickly to reassure him, stay with the pain, keep with it, and explore how its remnants are played out in his daily life.

Selecting an LGBTQ+-friendly therapist requires leveraging specialized online directories and local community resources that highlight professionals adept in the nuanced dynamics of gender and sexual orientation. Modern communities and schools are still filled with people with traditional views of how boys should behave, and not measuring up to those standards results in being bullied or mocked.

But as any psychotherapist knows, sometimes the pain from the past catches up and needs to be dealt with. Sadly, for some, the traumas of being significantly bullied, beaten, outed to the community, and not accepted by immediate family causes lasting pain and trauma. Another issue common in working with gay men is the ways in which growing up gay has included being traumatized.

The client may want to continue seeing you to check in on what his trauma work is bringing up for him. Here your job as therapist is to dig deeper. To find a gay therapist online, you can use platforms like BetterHelp or directories like Psychology Today.

The answer is undoubtedly: yes! As you are able to guide him to a space of safety and utilization of inner resources, he will be delighted and perhaps grateful for your guidance. Search for therapists who specialize in LGBTQ+ issues, offer affirmative therapy, and match your needs in a safe and supportive space.

Posted June 5, Reviewed by Kaja Perina. When a client has the benefit of receiving this from you, it carries enormous healing potential for him.