Mother who realized she was gay at the same time

We all thought it was hilarious. But I could not breathe. Gay was whispers and giggles behind backs. Mother-of-two Jenni Barrett (right), 37, came out as gay on the same night that her husband (left) came out as transgender - and the two (pictured with their kids) remain happily married.

I go to bed thinking about her. I searched for air as every nerve in my body shouted, This! I wake up thinking about her. I had married my husband, Charles, 25 years earlier, after seven years of dating. Gay was funny. Out of nowhere, in an instant, she burned me to the ground, along with all of the preconceived notions I had about attraction and desire.

I was raised in a world where gay was not really an option. We talked about my propensity to form unusually strong female bonds, to dive headfirst into my closest relationships. A mum-of-two told her husband she was gay – shortly after her partner came out as transgender.

But also, who had dreams about kids and wives at sixteen? Her partner, who was assigned male at birth, came out as trans in After suppressing her true identity for years, one married mother of three decided to tell her husband and the world that she was gay — and proud.

It felt simultaneously familiar and forbidden, known and mysterious, natural and foreign. I was unsure that we were the right match, but he made it seem like our future had been written in the stars. It just is. I take the baby from her and send her back to bed.

Gay was a slur. Or at least not a desirable one. The strength of her long, lean limbs drove me into submission. This is who you are. When Cecelia touched me on the reformer that day, I began the long journey to understanding why, beginning with my childhood. Kids were not on my radar.

Jenni Barrett, 37, remains happily married to her partner Sarah who she knew as Sean when they tied the knot 15 years ago. My chest heaved with the weight of this recognition. Gay was foreign. Her perfectly-highlighted blonde hair tickled the back of my neck.

Spouses were not either. It had been consumed by her touch, her fire. As my obsession with Cecelia grew, Charles and I talked at length about what was happening in our lives and in my heart. Cecelia stood behind me on the Pilates reformer and pressed her legs into my back, her hands into my shoulders.

How could I argue with the stars? Jenni Barrett wed a man called Sean 15 years ago, but their relationship looks a lot different nowadays. On the outside, we were the perfect family. There was no oxygen left in the room. But there was something about the skin of suburbia that never quite fit me.